A finicky guy's exploits in finding gustatory (and other) satisfaction in his kitchen, his neighborhood, and beyond.

Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fool's Day Quiz!

Can you spot the one false fact about me in the list below?

  1. I first encountered Peter in an AOL chatroom and we met in person a month later at a vegetarian diner which has since closed.
  2. When my hair is long it is luxuriantly curly and was once complimented by Broadway legend Chita Rivera at a fund-raiser dinner.  
  3. As a child, I had imaginary friends named Duncan and Solly.
  4. I once injured my knee while performing the role of "Jacob" in La Cage aux Folles on Rollerblades.
  5. In high school I chipped the same front tooth twice by banging it with a huge beer stein during Oktoberfest.  I sneaked one of these steins out under my coat and still use it to store my cooking utensils.
  6. After winning an All-Army talent competition by singing "Tonight" from West Side Story with my dear friend Toni, I was denied the opportunity to participate in the touring show of winners by my commander, who intensified my disappointment by telling me that if it had been for an athletic competition, they'd have authorized my leave of absence without a second thought.
  7. I often cut my PB&J sandwiches in bite-sized chunks, which I put into a mug, drown in milk, and eat with a spoon.
  8. I never once touched the ball during a game in 2 seasons of league soccer my parents forced me to play "in order to be well-rounded."
  9. I have written a lot of poetry in sonnet form to commemorate important people and events in my life, including That Stupid Cat, a post-mortem tribute to a beloved pet named Big Kitty.
  10. Up through at least middle school age, I would often fantasize that I was actually a fairy in human form, and was doing my best to pass unrecognized in public for fear of being persecuted by jealous "normals" for my powers and differences.
  11. During basic training, I contracted some sort of disease that was tentatively and probably incorrectly diagnosed as Lymes, and woke from a 3-day coma to not recognize my own family members, who were assembled around my bed, wondering if I'd ever come to.
  12. One of my earliest kitchen experiments — inflicted upon my family multiple times during my adolescence — was "pizza soup," which was Campbell's tomato soup enhanced with more or less palatable additions of my own choosing.
Were you able to identify the one untruth?  Record your guess as a comment below.  [Members of my family, as well as employees of "Pleasing My Palate" and its subsidiaries, are disqualified from participation.  Contest is void where prohibited by law.]

The winner, randomly chosen from among the correct responses, will receive a bar of Mast Brothers chocolate (produced in Brooklyn by friends of one of my students), which I promise you is the best chocolate on Earth.  If there are no correct responses, I'll eat the chocolate myself.

To round out today's kookiness, here are Willy's attempts at GPOY.  As you can see, he initially had some trouble aiming the camera.

Oops, didn't mean to push that button yet!

It's hard to hold the camera with no thumbs.

GPOY - Good Boy!


  1. Number 3 is the false one! Ok, I'm guessing but it'll be fun to go back and read them all again once I know which one it really is. Oh, and did you know that yesterday was Robert Bunsen's 200th birthday?

  2. I hope it's number 7 -- ish! But I suspect it's number 6.

  3. Oh please let it be number 7. And may I say you have had an interesting life.

    Willy is cute, but not as cute as my "Jasper, The Worlds Cutest Puppy", but then of course Jasper is only 4 months old and puppies are always adorable.

  4. Ewwww... it's gotta be the PB & J thing.

  5. I'm going to go with #2... although I hope it's #7!

  6. I think they're all true, and you are just trying to keep the chocolate for yourself. At least, that's what I'd do...

  7. Your life is so colorful!
    I'm not sure why everyone wants it to be 7 so desperately. When I read that, I thought to myself, "Why, what a great idea!"
    I made #12 ALL THE TIME as a child. Usually, it ended up in the garbage disposal...
    After spending an inordinate amount of time pondering the plausibility of your life experiences, I'm going to guess #11.

  8. I'd guess #11, too. But I'm terrible at quizzes.

  9. @Elle C: I smell a challenge! Email me a pic of Jasper and we'll just see whose pup is the cutest. (michaelhanko (dot) nyc (at) gmail (dot) com.)

  10. I'm voting #4, only because it makes me laugh to think of LCAF on rollerblades.

  11. I'm guessing #11 is untrue.

    #7 sounds delicious!

  12. I have to believe #2 is the false statement. The rest all seem so reasonable :)

  13. I think it's number four. My boys love tomato soup with cheese and pepperoni.

    In HS I crushed on this tall pale-skinned dark-haired boy, pretending he was an elf from LOTR. This was well before the movie, BTW. Always from afar of course. Your fairy fact reminded me of it. :)

  14. I think it's #1. However, you called this an "April Fool's Day Quiz" so I expect there is a trick in the answer; perhaps all statements are true? Mo

  15. Either they are all true or they are all false.

    Well, if I really have to pick one it would be #10; I don't know why, since one year in grade school I was convinced that I had to keep the cord from my head to heaven untwisted at all times. I had to turn to the right for each time I turned to the left.

  16. I'm going to say #8.

    Alicia in Oz

  17. I also think it is #8.

  18. I'm voting 9. Aren't you a dog person?
    I'd like to think 7, but how could you make this up.
    And I wanted to ask this earlier when you mentioned being posted in Germany, but I'm wondering what attracted you to the armed forces? Don't get me wrong, that's not a value judgment. I'm just naturally nosy. The army (in this country anyway) is a good place to get training and not a bad career, but I don't know many other football-hating wannabe magical beings who have joined!

  19. ps number 8 sounds totally credible to me. I played netball in a similar manner (and it's only a 7-a-side game) and my son did his best at soccer. If you run away from the ball, it's perfectly possible.

  20. I think it's number 1. Next choice would be 9.

  21. Sew, sew, sew, which is the false statement?

    *jumps up and down impatiently, like a toddler waiting for icecream*

  22. Calm yourself down, Miss 27....I promise all will be revealed tomorrow. Although if you continue jumping up and down until then, you will have satisfied your cardio requirement for the week.

  23. So far, nobody else has chosen 5 or 6. I can't choose 6 because it has the absolute ring of truth. So I'm saying 5.

  24. This officially closes the voting — I'll be posting the answers in a couple of minutes....

  25. regarding #11.
    when you came to, i was the last to be recognized.


  26. Well, that must have felt special. But, after all, youngest sibling, I'd known you for the least amount of time.