Can you spot the one false fact about me in the list below?
- I first encountered Peter in an AOL chatroom and we met in person a month later at a vegetarian diner which has since closed.
- When my hair is long it is luxuriantly curly and was once complimented by Broadway legend Chita Rivera at a fund-raiser dinner.
- As a child, I had imaginary friends named Duncan and Solly.
- I once injured my knee while performing the role of "Jacob" in La Cage aux Folles on Rollerblades.
- In high school I chipped the same front tooth twice by banging it with a huge beer stein during Oktoberfest. I sneaked one of these steins out under my coat and still use it to store my cooking utensils.
- After winning an All-Army talent competition by singing "Tonight" from West Side Story with my dear friend Toni, I was denied the opportunity to participate in the touring show of winners by my commander, who intensified my disappointment by telling me that if it had been for an athletic competition, they'd have authorized my leave of absence without a second thought.
- I often cut my PB&J sandwiches in bite-sized chunks, which I put into a mug, drown in milk, and eat with a spoon.
- I never once touched the ball during a game in 2 seasons of league soccer my parents forced me to play "in order to be well-rounded."
- I have written a lot of poetry in sonnet form to commemorate important people and events in my life, including That Stupid Cat, a post-mortem tribute to a beloved pet named Big Kitty.
- Up through at least middle school age, I would often fantasize that I was actually a fairy in human form, and was doing my best to pass unrecognized in public for fear of being persecuted by jealous "normals" for my powers and differences.
- During basic training, I contracted some sort of disease that was tentatively and probably incorrectly diagnosed as Lymes, and woke from a 3-day coma to not recognize my own family members, who were assembled around my bed, wondering if I'd ever come to.
- One of my earliest kitchen experiments — inflicted upon my family multiple times during my adolescence — was "pizza soup," which was Campbell's tomato soup enhanced with more or less palatable additions of my own choosing.
Were you able to identify the one untruth? Record your guess as a comment below. [Members of my family, as well as employees of "Pleasing My Palate" and its subsidiaries, are disqualified from participation. Contest is void where prohibited by law.]
The winner, randomly chosen from among the correct responses, will receive a bar of Mast Brothers chocolate (produced in Brooklyn by friends of one of my students), which I promise you is the best chocolate on Earth. If there are no correct responses, I'll eat the chocolate myself.
To round out today's kookiness, here are Willy's attempts at GPOY. As you can see, he initially had some trouble aiming the camera.
|Oops, didn't mean to push that button yet!|
|It's hard to hold the camera with no thumbs.|
|GPOY - Good Boy!|